48. Still Learning. Still Breathing.

I finally figured out what happened to me back in school. You know, I was terrified when people told me that everything we go through is to toughen us up … make us stronger … like a muscle, that you break down and build up over and over. I was terrified because I was thinking, as I was getting beaten, pushed, spit on, mocked, and … well, it was kind of a game that they thought it was funny that I didn’t cry — I just took it. Took it all. They thought it was funny to see me break without breaking down. I thought, what is it that is coming… the Thing that I’m supposed to be stronger for, after having been ‘strengthened’ by all this ‘practice’. I didn’t want to know what was worse, what it was that made all this useful. Necessary.

ittookalongtimeWhen I got to college, I found there were a few people who called me out on my … demeanor. One, from NYC, told me he was going to keep sneaking up on me until I stopped flinching. One, a supervisor at one of my jobs, told me that I was an asset because of who I’d been. Where I’d been. People needed to know that someone understood — not just hear the words.

Until now, I thought that’s all that I was. A damaged, bruised, ball of worry and calcified bones. I tried practicing my social skills, and failed. And failed. And failed. But I did learn love. And I learned that I could hurt people without meaning to. I learned that people don’t only hurt people when they’re being bad. We are imperfect, and broken, even when we’re just living.

But what I’d learned back in high school, while I was getting pushed around, was the forgiveness that maybe I would have been too stubborn to allow for if I wasn’t broken down like that muscle. Over and over.

I forgave my father for being unprepared and unable, for not listening and not hugging me enough — though he really did try. I forgave my family for … well, a lot. I never did think about waiting for them to forgive me for anything; just assumed that would never come.

That’s what I’m processing now. That everyone, not just people I have reason to know, everyone is walking around, mad at someone. I can never see it coming. I can never see how broken people are… never see what they’re carrying around. I never know when they have horrible expectations of me because of their experience in life. I never know when I will never have a chance in their lives because their burdens are so great that I can’t make a difference.

I will never know how to be good enough to matter more to them than their wounds. That, and my failures that reinforce their illusions that no one… no one is ever worthy of their love. Their trust. ‘Everybody lies.’

I’m still learning patience. I’m waiting on my Lord to come back and fix this shit.

Answering Evil: Wresting the Conversation Away from Leftist Rage — Stand Your Ground vs. Duty to Flee

[Ed. Note: This was first published on 7/16/13; I’m bringing it forward to join a conversation about the Left’s ability to hijack our culture by perverting our language and distorting the truth…]

Imagine that you are somewhere (not at home) with your kids, and someone decides to do you harm. Maybe they thought you were the person who cut them off in traffic… maybe you WERE the person… and they have a lead pipe/knife/candlestick/rope/etc. and it’s CLEAR that you are in mortal danger.

So, you defend yourself with the firearm (that you are legally carrying) and the judge says sure, you have the right to defend yourself — but you first had a ‘duty to flee’… a choice that courts often considered to be a requirement before lethal force should be allowed.

Since you didn’t run away (leaving your children behind with the raging threat), you didn’t really have a right to defend yourself with lethal force. If you had, and he chased you, well then fine… but since you didn’t, you’re going to jail.

This actually happened… OFTEN… and is the reason most states now have so-called ‘Stand Your Ground’ laws. Eager and ruthless District Attorneys saw victims as potential notches on their belts, and treated them as criminals — until the laws were rewritten to prevent it. The rights of the attacker were seen as more socially relevant than the rights of your family members to be defended from his violent onslaught — fighting back made the victim ‘a bad guy too’.

But if you have EVER been the daily target of a schoolyard bully, and were told by any authority you complained to that it was your responsibility to ‘just stay away from them’ — you understand how ridiculous ‘duty to flee’ was.

China Meat Cleaver Attack

George Zimmerman, who was prosecuted by the Media in the public eye as having ‘abused’ ‘stand your ground’ when he shot the person who was bashing his head repeatedly on the concrete — was not in a position DECIDE whether to flee or fight… but the Media ran with this concept for months.

It would probably be a surprise to most people who know the names of George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin to be informed that NEITHER THE DEFENSE, NOR THE PROSECUTION EVER CLAIMED OR CONSIDERED Stand Your Ground in their arguments — it was not offered to the jury as a reason for or against Zimmerman’s actions. Because he never had a choice to flee, beginning at the point where he realized he was in danger. His choices at that point included either to fight back or die. But the media wanted to use the death of Trayvon Martin to kill ‘Stand Your Ground’.

Why? You should be asking Why?

LINK: “Florida’s ‘Stand Your Ground’ Law and Self-Defense” (BlakeDorstenLaw.com)
LINK: “Self-Defense Shooting and Disparate Force” (USACarry.com)
LINK: “The Three Headed Monster: Defending a Disparity of Force Shooting” [PDF] (OSTTI.com)
LINK: “You can legally defend yourself with a gun if the situation includes these 3 elements” (SecondCallDefense.org)
LINK: “Mayor Bloomberg: End ‘shoot-first’ laws” (Politico.com)
LINK: “Stevie Wonder Boycotting Florida Following Zimmerman Verdict: singer refuses to perform in the state until its Stand Your Ground law is ‘abolished'” (HollywoodReporter.com)
LINK: “What the prosecutors said about Florida’s Stand Your Ground law” (JohnrLott.blogspot.com)
LINK: “Media Matters, ‘Stand Your Ground’ and me” (FoxNews.com)

Adulting at a Traffic Stop

This is what I was taught before I was even old enough to drive… and today I see people think that think this situation is where they prove their manhood by arguing with the cop that’s pulled them over.

Please, put away the testosterone and do something smart for the 15 minutes that you and the officer are interacting. You can amp it back up and tell your buddies how you told him what-for LATER… but for THIS 15 MINUTES, be the smart guy. Be the polite guy.

Traffic stops are not the time for pissing contests.

Too many accidents can happen; the person in uniform is having to worry about you AND not being hit by a passing car — so go OUT OF YOUR WAY to make it easier than it has to be. That’s being a adult. #NoMoreDeaths

Happy Independence Day, America

There’s an old joke that goes like this:

QUESTION: “Do they have the Fourth of July in England?”

ANSWER: “Of course, they do, silly — it’s right after the Third of July and before the Fifth of July!”

We aren’t celebrating a date on the calendar. We’re celebrating the forming of a nation in a deliberate fashion — for which men died to make an attempt at righting wrongs and building something for the long haul.

Please share this with your friends and family as we enjoy this three-day weekend, most of us being too young or too detached to know the history, the lives, the hearts, the fervor, the blessings that made this country possible.

You may not pray; but you might still count yourself thankful that these men stood for a free world — and that, beginning with the formation of this free country, started a place where free men could raise their children, their ideals, and their hopes to spread from there to the rest of the world.

If you have been raised to believe that there is nothing ‘great’ about this country, it is a famine caused by broken hearts, not truth, that brings you that ideal.

This nation was born on the backs of good men, and has lasted this long on the dreams of generations who hope to see it continue. Those working so very hard to dismantle it are not working for Good — no matter how much they may grind to impress you that destroying it is a way ‪#‎Forward‬.

On Strippers and Whores in First Grade

LauraAnderson17There are religious extremists who are currently given shelter by today’s ‘smart people’ when they claim that they raped or killed someone because ‘they couldn’t help themselves’ when they saw too much exposed ankle. The school systems chronicled in the following stories are not only giving validity to that nonsense — they are TEACHING CHILDREN that these rapes and killings are the responsibility of the victims, rather than the ANIMALS who did it, and who will continue to do it, until enough of us stand up and slaughter the perpetrators in a very public way, over and over, to the point of impressing these indoctrinated human filth that they will not get away with the mindless slaughter of other humans at their whim.

Every time I see an incident when a teacher or principle calls out a girl for wearing clothing that is completely ignored — ‘normal’ — when worn by a boy, I think the words ‘distracting’ and ‘inappropriate’ are actually code words for ‘This Faculty Member Stares Inappropriately At Your Child’.

GabiFinlaysonWhen I was 7 years old, it wasn’t bare shoulder (or bare anything) that made me twitterpated with an occassional classmate. It was because they were GIRLS, and not even a burqa would have changed that dynamic.

My older sister, on the other hand, was trained (both at school and at church) that sitting too close to a boy led to occasional physical contact, which led to holding hands, which led to shoulder-rubs, which led to pregnancy. When I had a girlfriend in California, I would put my arm around her shoulders in church (because she was cold), and my sister felt the need to tell me I wasn’t ‘allowed’ to do that and I was setting a bad example (for all the observant children who would now become pregnant as a result).


Look, I have a minor in theology and my Book says that God created sex, music, dancing and alcohol. I don’t see anything until the last few centuries that supports this madness… the New Thinking that we are all animals who can’t control ourselves. Saying people can’t control themselves is saying they don’t have a responsibility to control themselves. I do not find that ideology ‘enlightened’ at all.

LINK: Labrador school sends dozens of students home for exposing their shoulders and knees (nationalpost.com)
LINK: 10 Banned Vs. Approved Outfits That Show How Ridiculous School Dress Codes Really Are (seventeen.com)
LINK: Teen told bare shoulders inappropriate, forced to wear winter coat to dance (fox17online.com)
LINK: Draconian Dress Code Shames Public School Students In Kentucky (patheos.com)
LINK: Teen Girls Sent Home From High School For ‘Distracting’ Boys With Their Visible Bra Straps (thinkprogress.org)
LINK: Mother slams ‘ridiculous’ high school dress code after her daughter was sent home for showing her COLLARBONE in a long-sleeve top which teachers claimed could distract male students (dailymail.co.uk)
LINK: 15 Of The Most Unfair Dress Code Violation Stories Of 2015 (So Far) That Will Make You Furious (gurl.com)
LINK: High school students organize ‘show your shoulders’ protest against ‘sexist’ dress code which they claim makes boys see girls as nothing more than sexual objects (dailymail.co.uk)
LINK: Utah girl, 15, forced to wear a coat to school dance because teachers felt THIS dress was indecent for showing too much shoulder (dailymail.co.uk)
LINK: London high school students protest school dress code (lfpress.com)
LINK: Making you Even More Ashamed of God’s Creation… (wearethevoicesinyourhead.com)

Learning from Jimmy Evans

I was searching for something completely unrelated today when I stumbled across the first of these videos… and kept clicking through as I learned something from each one; sometimes small, sometimes a bit bigger than I expected.

Hopefully, one or more of these will be a blessing to you, your spouse, and your marriage.

Intimacy without Fear

Harsh and Passive-Aggressive Communication

Resolving Bitterness, Wrath and Anger

Signs of an Emotional Affair

The Danger of Turning Your Heart Away

Parents and In-laws

Inner Vows

When You Reject Your Spouse

Communication Deceptions

God’s Role for Men

The Key to Your Spouse’s Heart

Dating and Courtships

Loss of Life

heldIn my life, I have lost.

I have lost the attention and respect of my now-teenage children.

I have lost the illusion that my wife married me for who I was.

I have lost all confidence I imagined as a provider.

I have lost the security of feeling loved.

I have lost friendships that I realize now were only in my mind.

I have lost reasons for rising in the morning, and for laying down at night.

I have lost memories now tainted with back-stories and realities that aren’t mine to retell.

I have lost respect for some I’ve bailed out and who have bailed me out many times over.

I have lost the music once felt with every inhaled breath.

And I have lost the glowing touch of life that renewed daily just from believing in another person.

My God has allowed me to lose these things, and without promise of replacing them, tells me that my needs do not include them.

He informs me that the Game was changed in my favor and that my station is risen though my eyes are cast down.

He reaches down to hold me in the way a parent comforts a truly helpless child and says I KNOW YOUR PAIN, AND I KNOW YOUR FUTURE, AND I AM THERE FOR BOTH.

But I have lost everything I know, except the frailty of being held down, held back, held up … held.

I look up and am blinded by hot tears or light — I’m not sure which.

I have not lost my Lord.

LINK: “Friday From My Heart: Held” (Living-The-Miracle.blogspot.com)

When the Empty Nest is barreling down the straightaway, right at your face…

Last summer, I came to the realization that I have failed as a parent. I haven’t been the Daddy that I owed my kids. I vowed to work toward becoming the man they needed me to be… and unsurprisingly, they would have none of it. So, it’s going to be a long, bitter road to changing their opinion of me. The good news is, that over the last year I have seen my kids really shine… you see, I have not been the only influence on them.

Thank You, God, for having the Patience and showing the Leadership that I did not achieve as a Daddy myself.

Thank You, God, for letting me be their Daddy for many years before my own problems clouded my judgement and diverted my focus from the responsibilities and gifts that are bundled into this thing we call Fatherhood.

Thank You, God, for showing me Your mercy in their little victories and sturdy character, in their beauty, in their budding wisdom, in their dreams, in their friendships, in those they choose as mentors.

Thank You, God, for letting me rock them to sleep and change all those diapers when they were little. And sing the songs and read the bedtime stories.

Thank You, most of all, God, for giving me an opportunity to see what if must be like for You to have, love and care for all the children You have Created.

Making you Even More Ashamed of God’s Creation…

Jessica Rey – The evolution of the swim suit

It’s an interesting video, because the narrative is believable, and and the presenter is engaging — she has a message and uses emotional imagery to evoke agreement with her cause (to garner potential customers of both her way of thinking and the swimsuits she hopes people she matches thinking styles with … will buy from her).

But, no need to break out the burqa just yet. Unfortunately for this young lady, the study she is referencing can actually be read, online (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3801174/pdf/nihms515324.pdf). And it doesn’t exactly come to the conclusions she wants you to get from it. Instead of saying that ‘more skin makes men more thuggish and stupid’ (my own paraphrase), the study actually shows that ‘thuggish and stupid men are affected by more skin’. Now, if you can’t see the difference between these two statements, you are a perfect candidate for her product (her brand of swimsuits, and her brand of modesty). If you CAN see the difference between these two statements, you may still be a perfect candidate for her swimsuits (they’re actually quite attractive), but may be holding your nose from the ‘marketing tactic’ she uses — lying.

There are people in this world who are so messed up in the head that if they see an ankle or a belly button, they claim that they cannot help themselves… they MUST RAPE that person — it’s just science! These people are to be avoided.

There are other people in this world who… for lack of a better vernacular… are led more by the Word than by religion — and find a balance in both modesty and appreciation for God’s creation (people in the Bible arrived completely NUDE!, by the way… and drank alcohol and … gasp … danced) that avoids being a stumbling block for others; but also acknowledges that at some point, the VIEWER is more responsible for their resulting behavior than the VIEWED.

bar990812clpWhen a religious zealot is so flummoxed by the appearance of skin that their mind instantly goes to, “AAAGH! I must either rape or poke my own eyes out!” — that is an example of where Satan has perverted what God has created. It is Satan’s goal to take what is Good (Genesis 1:31) and turn it inside out, upside down, backwards — to render the Good as ‘Bad’, and the Bad as ‘Good’.

The presenter in the video also makes mention of a ‘historical’ progression from ‘bathing houses’ to the dental floss sold as swimwear today… without acknowledging that the ‘history’ she relates only includes those societies who were led by very particular religious morals… notice I did not say Biblical morals. Many other places around the world place no such limits on nekkidity — and to go back through history you might be surprised to learn that an opposite (unclothed to clothed) progression is actually much more common around the world than in our own (western) experience.

So, here’s the thing. The swimsuit is not the thing. The thing is those people who are watching the swimsuit. As you get older, you may find it increasingly easier to avoid those thuggish meatheads who walk around with their tongue hanging out the side of their face. While you are younger, your goal may be to limit uncomfortable encounters with these ‘types’. But don’t confuse ‘coverage’ for ‘goodness’ or ‘skin’ for ‘evil’ — that is putting the responsibility for others’ thinking on your shoulders — where it doesn’t belong.

If you feel that what you wear wouldn’t make you go hide in a locker if Jesus showed up at your pool party… you’re doing just fine.

LINK: “Modesty: I Don’t Think it Means What You Think it Means” (QIdeas.org)
LINK: “My Daughter Talks to Her Dad About Modesty” (GaryThomas.com)
LINK: “When Suits Become a Stumbling Block: A Plea to My Brothers in Christ*” (TheSaltCollective.org)
LINK: “Three immodestly dressed women walk into a church…” (KimberleySuchta.com)
LINK: “From Agents to Objects: Sexist Attitudes and Neural Responses to Sexualized Targets” [PDF] (ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)
LINK: Genesis 1:31 (Biblia.com)
LINK: “Woman in Swimsuit + Hostilely Sexist Man = ‘Immodesty'” (WheatAndTares.org)
LINK: “ReySwimwear.com”
LINK: “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning – the sixth day. (Genesis 1:31)” (MeaningOfGenesis.com)
LINK: “Toplessness: Traditional societies” (Wikipedia.org)
LINK: “What is a good Christian to do when presented with something as amazing as this?” (StaceyReid.com)
LINK: “Power Morphicon 3 Interview – Jessica Rey” (YouTube.com)

The Same Two Hours, Remembered Twice a Day…


At the office, I stop to think about my wife at least twice a day, no matter how hectic my schedule, no matter how heavy my workload, no matter how divided my attention is.

I eat almost every daytime meal out of a bowl I made on a date we had at Pottery-By-You.com many years ago.  I hadn’t been very enthusiastic about getting my hands dirty; but was eager for the time spent with her – and it really did turn out to be fun.

So, now I’m reminded of not just my Love, but of the two hours of that specific date on that one occasion, every single day.

If any two hours of our lives can become so important, and we never know which two hours it will be… maybe we should diligently and desperately seek ways to spend as many as possible of our ‘two hours’ with our Someones.

The Quietly Content Man — or, ‘Apologizing for my RBF’

I like people, and I like being with people. I’m just not at ease socially. Do you remember an uncomfortable feeling the first time you rented a car? I do… it felt like I shouldn’t be there; like there was so much more likelihood that I would damage it than I would have in my own car. My driving probably appeared odd, if not suspicious, to observers. At least, it did to me.

I have been called ‘not genuine’ because I ‘change’ when someone walks up to me and wants to interact… my defense mechanism for ‘apologizing’ through conversations is that I ‘mirror’I actually take on the persona and attitude of the person approaching me — because my actual ‘comfortable space’ (introverted) is quiet and often alone (not lonely, just not ‘on stage’).

SeizeTheDayThe phenomenon has actually been an asset to me professionally; when someone calls for technical assistance on the phone, they don’t realize they’re ‘talking to themselves’!

The result of this is that people who do not know me can’t figure out if I’m the person that I just talked to, or if I’m the person I talked to 10 minutes before that. But I’m not either of them.

I feel like I’d been trained by circumstance to believe that the real me isn’t good enough, or isn’t as good as, those people I ‘borrow’ a mood from through a conversation. So, you won’t likely get to know me after meeting me only a couple of times. (In fact, as a singer, it took me years to find my own voice — in a literal sense — because I’d grown so adept at taking on the tonal character of whatever artist I was borrowing a song from, that when I eventually started writing my own lyrics, I didn’t know how to use them out loud.)

But, I can be reached… it just takes longer. And, it doesn’t even take any additional effort with a crowbar or canopener… just show up over time, and you’ll see me mirroring YOU less and less, and more of me will ‘arrive’.

Now, for those of you who don’t interact with me regularly, and don’t like me at all? Maybe you think I’m a real ass? Sometimes that means that I’m so wildly uncomfortable I just don’t know when to shut up. Other times, well, you know that ‘mirroring’ thing I’ve been talking about?

LINK: “Extraversion and Introversion” (Wikipedia.org)
LINK: “Susan Cain: The Power of Introverts – Join the Quiet Revolution” (ThePowerOfIntroverts.com)
LINK: “27 Problems Only Introverts Will Understand” (BuzzFeed.com)
LINK: “Why introverts love Social Media” (MackCollier.com)
LINK: “Resting Bitch Face” (Google.com)

Leftists say they aren’t trying to take anyone’s guns (while they take away guns). Feminists say they don’t want to kill off Boys, while they kill off our Boys… then wonder why Women can’t find happiness without the Men that have become extinct

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Just Give The Order

timing“God please give me Patience, and give it to me NOW.” Yeah, it kind of feels like that. A lot.

But, I can’t trust in myself in any measure comparable to my Faith in Him.

My favorite scripture is the story of the Roman Centurion, who asked Jesus to heal someone close to him — and told him that he didn’t even need to see Jesus visit his friend in-person… just please GIVE THE ORDER, and the soldier knew it was as good as done.

That is the Faith that I have tried to model throughout my life; and though I can’t pretend that I never waver, I know that everything that is cataclysmic to us is but a breath to the Creator of the universe.

Luke Chapter 7:

When Jesus had finished these talks to the people, he came to Capernaum, where it happened that there was a man very seriously ill and in fact at the point of death. He was the slave of a centurion who thought very highly of him. When the centurion heard about Jesus, he sent some Jewish elders to him with the request that he would come and save his servant’s life. When they came to Jesus, they urged him strongly to grant this request, saying that the centurion deserved to have this done for him. “He loves our nation and has built us a synagogue out of his own pocket,” they said.

So Jesus went with them, but as he approached the house, the centurion sent some of his personal friends with the message, “Don’t trouble yourself, sir! I’m not important enough for you to come into my house—I didn’t think I was fit to come to you in person. Just give the order, please, and my servant will recover. I am used to working under orders, and I have soldiers under me. I can say to one, ‘Go’, and he goes, or I can say to another, ‘Come here’, and he comes; or I can say to my slave, ‘Do this job’, and he does it.”

These words amazed Jesus and he turned to the crowd who were following behind him, and said, “I have never found faith like this anywhere, even in Israel!”

Then those who had been sent by the centurion returned to the house and found the slave perfectly well.

Letting Someone Other Than Yourself Define ‘Paranoid’

TheTruthAboutGuns asked on their Facebook page, paranoid1795883_641730189227745_1414196971_o“Is home carry paranoid?”

That depends. If someone bothers to break into your house, do you think that person is going to take longer than you to locate his weapon, get it ready to use, and point it at you and your family? It is possible the intruder could be one of those really lethargic people that they talk about on road construction sites (you know, ‘SLOW MEN WORKING’?).

Or, maybe you should have your EDC (every-day carry) on you during all your waking hours.

remoteFor years, my EDC has included a P32, my keys, my phone, a Leatherman, and a flashlight. What will the Bad Guy find you prepared with? An ink pen and the TV remote?

You may think, “Not likely to be a problem, because uninvited guests tend to avoid breaking into a house unless no one is home”? To that I say, you may be giving the criminal element too much credit for analysis and forethought. STATISTICS SHOW THAT ONE OUT OF FOUR HOME BURGLARIES OCCURS WHILE AN OCCUPANT IS HOME.


OK, so now those of you who are still around for this deeply-disturbed article are wondering, why keys? Well, here’s the thinking behind the rest of my EDC (these from much discussion, study, and a little training in security and hand-to-hand bludgeoning):

Keys – Imagine yourself as an intruder, and upon entering a home you find the Daddy, the Mommy, possibly a couple of kids and a puppy — and in that house you see several items you would love to fence; but the Daddy is in your way. Do you turn around and leave the neighborhood, or do you grab the guy and throw him out of his own house, locking the door behind him? Now, it’s a really good thing for you that he’s left his keys in a bowl in the hallway!

Phone – I’ve heard for years that people don’t like to carry their phone when they don’t absolutely have to; besides, what if you have a land-line in the house already? First, see the part about the keys, above. Then, consider that the phone line going into your house is not protected from any dude with a pair of pliers… it’s on the OUTSIDE of your house, usually entering at near-to-ground level! If your mobile phone is too inconvenient to keep on your person at all times, you have the wrong phone.

Leatherman (or other multi-tool) – Do I really have to explain this? Are you a man? Or a MINO?

Flashlight – It’s true, a flashlight is only useful when it’s dark. So, can you please explain to me how your day is so regimented, and you are so disciplined, that you are going to get up off the couch to find that flashlight and slip it into your pocket at sundown?

LINK: “EveryDayCarry” (Facebook.com)
LINK: “Every Day Carry” (Wikipedia.org)
LINK: “The Truth About Guns” (Facebook.com)
LINK: “Everyday Carry Blog” (EverydayCarryBlog.com)
LINK: “Should I Carry My Gun in My Home?” (Guns.com)
LINK: “Home Invasion” (Wikipedia.org)
LINK: “U.S. Department of Justice – National Crime Victimization Survey, Victimization During Household Burglary, September 2010” (BJS.gov)
LINK: “Occupied Home Invasion” (Google.com)

ADDENDUM 2014-03-25:

“How paranoid does a person have to be to want to carry a gun around everywhere?” … the question is phrased specifically to make gun owners sound mentally imbalanced. It is phrased to shame gun owners into warping their thinking to more closely match that of the person attacking our right as individuals to defend ourselves… our right to survive.

Let me turn that around: Just how unjustifiably paranoid do you have to be to want non-criminals to be unarmed for YOUR safety? Because it’s the non-criminal that is bound by more restrictive gun laws, and popular peer pressure to disarmthe thug is only happy to have your assistance.

LINK: “Chance encounter with CHL holder saves Frisco woman from robber” (WFAA.com)

A Lesson for Guys on Giving Dying Things To Whom You Love

Today, being Valentine’s Day, there a quite a few expressions of love, gratefulness, thoughtfulness, giggliness, and even … dare I say it … lust on the intarwebz.

I have always treated the holiday as a contrivance of the commercial sort — but with a realization that it never hurts to remember flowers even if it’s a manufactured reason.

FleursForTheMommy2014-02-14_330x370Flowers, are, from a guy’s point of view, a silly thing because when we see flowers, we see death. As in, wilting, decaying, dropping petals-leaves-and-limbs on the table around the vase, wow-where-did-that-$50-go-in-just-less-than-a-week death.

But flowers, given to a ‘Valentine’, aren’t for the giver. Nor are supposed to be a permanent marker, that says, “ON THIS DAY, FEBRUARY 14TH 2014, AND FOR ALL TIME HENCEFORTH, THIS PERSON LOVES THIS OTHER PERSON, AND TO PROVE IT HERE IS A MONUMENT THAT WILL LAST FOREVER AND EVER AS AN ICON AND BEACON OF THEIR LOVE.”

Ironically, lasting forever is what … headstones … are for. And they really are about death.

Flowers, on the other hand, are about life.

Not Love.


Now, they can be about Love in Life, but what they really show is how we feel RIGHT NOW, like how the flowers look RIGHT NOW, when they arrive all fresh and bloomy and glowing and stinky… Right Now is the moment of life, and yes of love, that is shared when flowers arrive, or are given, that say “Right Now, At This Moment, I Share LIFE With You, Whom I Love.”

So, true, the flowers may wither and you may grumble about how short their visit to your Special Someone was; but so does Life — and so might Love… the point is, when you share with someone else how you feel — don’t neglect or discount just how Very Important it is… that they know that in This Moment, and the life that can be found in it… you are thinking of them.

That is the message of the flowers that you will give, will be received, and will die in a week. Not about Love. About Life. And how wonderful it is to share it.

If you choose to buy her something more permanent… like a headstone — well, try to reserve that announcement for another holiday. Trust me.