A Lesson for Guys on Giving Dying Things To Whom You Love

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Today, being Valentine’s Day, there a quite a few expressions of love, gratefulness, thoughtfulness, giggliness, and even … dare I say it … lust on the intarwebz.

I have always treated the holiday as a contrivance of the commercial sort — but with a realization that it never hurts to remember flowers even if it’s a manufactured reason.

FleursForTheMommy2014-02-14_330x370Flowers, are, from a guy’s point of view, a silly thing because when we see flowers, we see death. As in, wilting, decaying, dropping petals-leaves-and-limbs on the table around the vase, wow-where-did-that-$50-go-in-just-less-than-a-week death.

But flowers, given to a ‘Valentine’, aren’t for the giver. Nor are supposed to be a permanent marker, that says, “ON THIS DAY, FEBRUARY 14TH 2014, AND FOR ALL TIME HENCEFORTH, THIS PERSON LOVES THIS OTHER PERSON, AND TO PROVE IT HERE IS A MONUMENT THAT WILL LAST FOREVER AND EVER AS AN ICON AND BEACON OF THEIR LOVE.”

Ironically, lasting forever is what … headstones … are for. And they really are about death.

Flowers, on the other hand, are about life.

Not Love.


Now, they can be about Love in Life, but what they really show is how we feel RIGHT NOW, like how the flowers look RIGHT NOW, when they arrive all fresh and bloomy and glowing and stinky… Right Now is the moment of life, and yes of love, that is shared when flowers arrive, or are given, that say “Right Now, At This Moment, I Share LIFE With You, Whom I Love.”

So, true, the flowers may wither and you may grumble about how short their visit to your Special Someone was; but so does Life — and so might Love… the point is, when you share with someone else how you feel — don’t neglect or discount just how Very Important it is… that they know that in This Moment, and the life that can be found in it… you are thinking of them.

That is the message of the flowers that you will give, will be received, and will die in a week. Not about Love. About Life. And how wonderful it is to share it.

If you choose to buy her something more permanent… like a headstone — well, try to reserve that announcement for another holiday. Trust me.

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